This Time We Glamp.

There is nothing particularly glamorous about pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing and lovely in lots of ways but, well, let's begin at the beginning...

Not that bit, the bit after....

You go to the doctors and proclaim you have 'a bun in yo oven' and ask 'what am yo gonna do'. The midwife in my case was very jolly, the atmosphere was all very upbeat and I was promptly handed a very exciting looking bag of freebies.

I like free things.

I skipped off with my carrier bag, (aka the 'Bounty Pack') of free goodies, pleased with my pregnant self and prepared to open the sack of wonders (snigger, sack) to find out what joys were held inside.

This is where the glamour began.

Or rather ended.

The first thing I eagerly pulled out of the freebie lucky-dip pregnantness, was a tub of stretch mark cream. I have to say, it did smell rather nice, but it was not quite the treat I was expecting.

With plenty more goodies to go, I again plunged my hand into the bag, full of hope.

A tub of Sudocrem, otherwise knows as botty cream. Useful, yes, essential with a baby, yes, exciting and glam, no.

Next, haemorrhoid cream. I kid you not.

Slightly more exciting......tokens!!!! .....for haemorrhoid cream.

A free packet of washing powder!!! This was, quite sadly, the best thing so far.

Ah great, a sachet of Horlicks. For those of you who don't know what Horlicks is, it's a hot drink for old people with ulcers and no teeth.

The pièce de résistance, A packet of tena lady.

It's fair to say that the 'Bounty Pack' left me feeling pretty un-glam and not very excited about the forthcoming arrival of our bundle of joy. It was almost like a warning, a public information leaflet of what was to come.

It was right. As I sit here, I can smell the vomit of my son. It's on me somewhere, I just don't know where. My clothes are clean on today and I've had a wash, yet I smell. My phone has dinner all over its screen. Again, I don't know how this happened, but I do know that life never used to be quite like this. Let's just say, I will never think of the word 'sweep' in the same way again.

And so we came to our first family holiday. Camping. I love camping and would these days consider myself to be really quite well seasoned. We've done the hard core (ish) stuff, but now we have bought an old persons tent, i.e you can stand up in it.

Worth every penny.

Previously we would arrive in the middle of the night, pitch with a beer in hand and settle down with the bare minimum of sleeping equipment. Who cared about the bumpy floor and being a bit cold. It was all part of the romance.

Not anymore.

I need my sleep, and if I'm not careful, being a mum is going to sap every ounce of glamour (not that there was much to begin with) from my life, leaving me vom-covered, stuffing chocolate digestives into my mouth and silently rocking back and forth to the theme tune of Peppa Pig. It is for this reason that I decided that THIS TIME WE GLAMP.

Ideally I wanted a pale blue bell tent (snigger), with a butler and cocktails, but settled for a few home comforts instead.

Here it is, Dot's guide to simple glamping:

First up, find a decent campsite. No fields with portaloos. You need hot water, a pub near by, a shop within walking distance, flat fields, good toilets. I'd recommend www.coolcamping,co.uk for ideas.

Bedding

Very important. We went for the Ikea Rosali duvet cover set (in addition to sleeping bags, neutral cheap and adds a bit of colour, keep it light coloured to make your tent interior look bigger and feel cleaner.)

We also put a sleeping bag under our sleeping mats for more comfort and warmth and to stop the mats sliding around (use an old school one that unzips and sits flat.) I stitched a white bed sheet to it to make it white also.

A duvet cover for our plastic inflatable sleeping mats. Sounds ridiculous but it stops them getting sweaty and a bit pongy if you're in the tent for a week. Also, adds to the space-increasing white look.

Pillows. As good as travel pillows are, they're just not the same as the real thing. Space consuming but worth it.

A dust pan and brush. I cant emphasise how important this is. Give the tent a quick sweep daily if you can be bothered, it cheers the place up immensely. Also good for spider removal. A no shoe policy is pretty important in my view but not always practical.

Henry's first camping pillow, made with Michael Miller camping fabric.

Below: Henry helping me to re-cover the old sleeping bag with an old white sheet, ready for our comfy ground mat.

Before

After

Also an old plastic lined picnic blanket, re-covered and pimped up with a Primark sofa throw made a good waterproof outdoor floor. Below: Before and after.

Lighting

One pack of solar lights off amazon did the trick. 500 leds lined the ceiling, while 2 battery lamps from dotcomgifts.com lit the rest and added a bit of glamour.

Forgot to get a photo of the fairy lights, oops!

Tart up old gear. Our trusty but rusty fold away camping table was looking a bit jaded. Car spray paint and a picture painted with indoor emulsion spruced it up!

Luggage

I decided suitcases were the way forward. Rucksacks are pretty ugly. The downside is that cases are a bit more clumpy and take up more space, but they are cute.

Spice case: Normally all this stuff sits in an ugly massive tupperware type box which we used to call the mega camp.

I made some spice jars to go with it rather than having half open packets etc.

Kitchen case:

Old cases from ebay painted just for laughs and lined with fabric.

Before...

After

The cherry on the cake:

Henry's case

Well, he's only little once and I couldn't resist. It housed all his clothes and blankets and made for easy access for the many changes that he needed!

Name is typed, trimmed and glued although next time I'll paint it on directly as it started to peel off by the end of the trip.

Finally the one esential item for glamping.....Wine.

Et voila, The glamp was a sucess. It's all silly, but even when covered in baby poo, it made the place feel just a bit more glam. Mum or not, I'd recommend it. Incidentally, if anypne knows anyone who works for bounty pack or cadburys, tell them, for the love of god, to throw in a chocolate bar and a packet of crisps.

For more on glamping with a baby, have a look at these sites: http://www.mumsnet.com/travel/10-best-glamping-sites

http://domegarden.co.uk/special-stuff/glamping-holidays-with-children

http://goglamping.net/glamping-with-kids/

http://www.awaywiththekids.co.uk/child-friendly/glamping

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